Feel

I don't want to tell you how I feel
I will not tell you how I feel
Because I don't feel
Well... I don't feel you that's for sure
I don't want to feel
Feel is bad
Feel is sad
Feel hurts
Feel says I'm ugly inside
Feel says that I don't realize
I can't help but wait
Wait and forget
How beautiful you were
How you made me laugh
How you made me care
How you made me cry
How you made me mad

But mostly
How you made me feel

don't think I'm leaving!!!

Don't think I'm not feeling anymore but I have so much work to do it's crazy!!!
School and heartbreak don't really go along properly,I was late on many assignment I neglected but I'm almost back on track!
Don't forget about me because nobody forgets a good meal

Getting there...

I thing I'm finally getting to that point where I think of him less often...
His face is fuzzzier everyday and I keep thinking: What happen's next?

Am I suppose to take a liking in someone else? But I don't think I have enough alchemy left in me to fall over again... Does that mean I missed my chance? Or does it mean that my soulmate is right under my nose but I'm just too tired to see it?

Right now I don't really know what to do and I think... I might be afraid of getting over him.
Afraid of the boredom maybe or just afraid to face myself...

Sad day is today but tomorrow cooking therapy session times 2!!!

Fake creme brulee!

Haha! Now we talking! The fattenning stuff!

But watch out! I did say "Fake" because I'm not a chef so I don't think I would know how to make a proper one.
So what we are going to make today is called a FLAN in french (did I mention that it's my first language?)
A flan is a lot like a creme brulee but waaay simpler to make! Same colour, smell but diffferent texture. A Flan is...wobllier...jelly like but CREAMY!

Here it goes!
Ingredients

• 4 eggs
• 1 litre of milk (full cream excuse moi!)
• 150g of sugar
• 90g of cornstarch (maizena?)
• 1 vanilla bean

Making it

Boil the milk with the vanilla bean split lenghtwise

Meanwhile mix the cornstarch with the sugar and well beaten eggs(just think of him). Mix everything until perfectly homogeneous. Then pour the milk(without the vanilla bean!)
Keep the mix at low heat while stirring constantly for about 2 minutes
Take out a baking tray butter it lightly, pour the mix and let it bake in the oven for 30 to 40mn
Thermostat 6\7

You know it's ready when:

• Your whole house/flat smells like a tropical island
• Just stick a knife in it,if it comes out dry it's ready if not let it bake a little while longer

You can eat it hot or cold wit cream or ice cream,maple syrup is my favourite!

Great stuff!! I see you soon! Bon Appetit!

Man/Child

I can only speak for myself when I say this:

A guy who loves his playstation warns you
A guy who gets up in the middle of the night to hang out with his mates warns you
A guy who calls his mom more often than you warns you

DO NOT TRUST THE SIGNS!!!!!!!!
Every man is different, they may all have an underlying similar base but really what is true for may not be for another.

He walked me home
He called me
He had no interest in video games

But today we saw each other for the first time in a month and he didn't even greet. That is what it has come down to.
I was willing to do the work for him but now I think he is really too much of a child for me.

Some good food following don't go too far!!!

Cheesyyyy Chicken and Bacon Omelette!

I don't know about you but I love cheese! Camenbert,Brie,Emmental,Mozzarella! You name it, strong are the chances that I have tasted it and that I liked it.

Ingredients

• 3eggs


• slices of bacon (as much as you can handle)


• chopped leftover chicken(or fry a chicken breast)


• Shredded mozzarella and\or cheddar (as much as you can handle)


• black pepper,salt and mixed herbs if you like


• a teaspoon of butter

Doing it

Fry the bacon in a pan,chop it and set it aside

Let butter melt into a frying pan while you beat the eggs with the salt,pepper and mixed herbs and pour it when you feel the pan is nice and hot!

In a small bowl, mix the bacon, the chicken and the cheese

When the eggs are cooked under but still a bit raw on top spread the bacon/chicken/cheese mixture on top of the omelette and fold it!

Turn off the heat and cover with a lid.

When you feel you cannot wait any longer because the melted cheese arome is teasing your nostrils...put it in a plate, sit down and eat it!

Enjoy!

Inconvenients of being electronically connected to your heartbreaker!

Sometimes after the break up, you start noticing things that you didn't notice before.

Like how anxious you are to see what his facebook status of the day is or if he saw your facebook status and knew it was meant for him or your screams on twitter when you wanted to cry and you just couldn't say it to your girlfriends,if he saw that you put his favourite pic of you on your myspace page(the one he said was so beautiful he wanted to keep it for himself).

In my case I'm connected all the the time I mean everywhere!
But for certain purposes I was only electronically connected to him via yahoo messenger. Yesterday..of all days...just whe I thought I was getting there...BAM!! A love note on his status for his WHITE SUGAR!! His what!! Are u kidding me! I exited my browser so quickly I had to restart my phone! I checked it again, it was gone and I was left hurt and oh-so mad!
Anyway I think I'm okay because it didn't bother me that much today(I thought of it about 200 times in class but 2weeks ago I wouldn't have been in class at all)

But the question is: Should I or Should I not take him off my yahoo contact list???
(Let's keep in mind that beside the fact that he played me if he asks me I would go back in a heartbeat)

That's all for therapy today! Let's make food!